crying out loud

I feel like I'm broken into pieces, I can't stand one more day and though I have to. I can hear you knocking on my bedroom door, I don't want to open, don't want to think, don't want to hear, don't want to feel. I want to loose myself in my own perfect world, but when I do it I realize it isn't perfect any more.

 There's no place to go, there's no place to hide, I can't hide anymore, I can't run away and I can't stay either. What should I do??? I try to face all this but somehow it's too much for me. I'm crying the fuck out of me and it doesn't seem to be enough, I want to destroy, hit, throw things, but I won't do it. At least that I can stand.

You keep pissing me off, don't you see? you're hurting me and hence I hurt you. Let's stop this please I'm begging you, stop breaking my dreams, stop breaking me, breaking you, breaking us.

I want to stop all this crap, all this madness, .... I'm freaking out...

After all this shit I just want to yell at you: screw you!!! and just leave me alone!!